Parlous Folk: October 2008

So there we were; friday night in the summer time. The normal group, bored in a parking lot somewhere trying to think of what kind of trouble to partake in that night. As we are discussing someone gets a call, it's Marcus. Marcus is the kind of person that thrives on destruction and mayhem; its when hes in his element. Anyway, we meet up with Marcus and hes so stoked on this idea he has, something his dad told him he did as a kid. As were listening we think it sounds kinda dumb; but marcus reassures us that it works. "Dude, its so simple. All we need is a coat hanger, a bunch of string, and something semi-heavy," he says. Fuck it, were all in. Lets do this shit. And were off, scavenger hunt time. All of our weapons of mass destruction are located except one, the heavy object which is so crucial. Kind of odd that this object was last to be found cause it really could have been fuckin anything. Marcus finds a little toy cap gun and were back on. So now for the plan. First tie the toy gun to one end of the string; then, unravel the coat hanger till its straight with a hook on one end and tied to the string on the other; then, find some power lines. Yes, power lines. You see, Marcus' dad told him that when he was a kid, he would jerry-rig this thing where you throw something heavy tied to string and a coat hanger with a hook over power lines. You then pull the string so the coat hanger would hook onto one of the live wires and then touch the other live wire running parallel; thus causing a circuit between the two, overloading the breaker or some shit. How god damn pathetic was our early adulthood? I mean really, were all of legal age and were about to blow out some peoples power; for fun!?! Whatever, it was awesome. Anyway, we get to our location and what do we do, we stand there. We dont do anything. "Okay, so whos gonna throw the gun?" someone said. And almost simultaneously a loud 'not it' chant stirred the air. Then the idea was proposed to close the string in a car door and just drive slowly till we saw the street lights go out, and then book it. So with all in agreement, we choose Julians car. We all hop into the car and start to crawl away from the scene of a soon to be crime. Further and further we go and nothing. "Is this shit gonna work man, I dont see anything happeni..." BOOM!!! And I mean this was a BBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM!!!! Sparks fell on the windshield and everyone screamed as if they had just seen Oprah naked. I dont remember the exact speed we drove or where we ended up, but I dont think I was ever happier that Julian was a good asian driver. We meet for another parking lot session and discuss what we had just caused/witnessed. "Did you know that breaker was gonna blow or what Marcus!?!" "My dad left that shit out of the story, man!!!" And that is when we all laughed like bastards. Just deep laughter and a sigh of relief that we got away. "So what do we do now?" This is the puzzling part of the story, if one hasnt been found already. We decided the best thing to do at that moment was...to go back. Yeah, we went back like the dumbshits we are. Police cars are lighting up the night with red and blue strobes and citizens of the area crowded the darkened street. "What happened here officer?" one of us asked. (I know, we are really dumb assholes for all of this.) "Well it looks like some kids knocked out this whole block of power with this little toy gun." the officer said. "Wow, thats a pretty good shot huh," another one of us said. Hahaha, oh man I just laughed as i typed that. What a precious moment. As we drove away, proud of the nights first mission, we pondered what can we possibly do tonight to top that? "Lets go trash-canning!!!!!" And that will be a story for another day.

Thanks for reading!!!

Jonny